Guys. We made a mistake, and, much like Al Franken, we’re not above admitting it.*
A good friend of POPPORN recently alerted us to the fact that our videos were not playing correctly on iOS devices. This is deeply embarrassing and, even more than that, it’s disheartening, because we want everyone to be able to bask in the glory that is POPPORN, and it makes us sad as fuck to find out that some those of you living in the 21st century weren’t able to do so!
In POPPORN’s esteemed opinion, Angela is THE porn star that matters. There’s really no one making better smut or working harder in the adult industry today. It’s as simple as that. And while her movies with beloved studios like HardX, Jules Jordan Video and Wicked are all fantastic and well worth your time, you really owe it to yourself to spend some time with the entire catalog of movies from Angela’s own studio, because it really is about as good as it fucking gets.
Which is why we feel extra bad that she had to spend ten minutes of her life talking with idiots like us.
But since she DID take time out of her busy signing schedule to say hello…
Remember when we said we were going to Exxxotica NJ to score all kindsa boss shit for you to drool over on our blog? Bet you thought we were lying, huh? Oh youse of little fuckin’ faith! If we were lying, how the fuck do you imagine we managed to score three fucking hours of facetime* with none other than Samantha fuckin’ Rone, huh?
Yeah, we’re feeling pretty good about ourselves, because we didn’t expect someone like Samantha to even TALK to us, let alone allow us to record the conversation so that there’s proof she talked to us. We kinda have a crush on her. Which isn’t too unusual, given the fact that she does amazing stuff like this for a living.
Last Friday, while attending the Exxxotica NJ expo in lovely Edison New Jersey, the doofuses at POPPORN were fortunate enough to have been granted an audience with Ms. Lena Paul, who happens to be the favorite pornographic performer of at least half of the POPPORN staff (the other half are total dopes). Rather than try to explain what our sweet-ass interview covered, we’re just gonna let the interview speak for itself!
Hey everybody, guess what?! POPPORN is hitting the road and heading out to Exxxotica NJ, the East Coast’s biggest and best celebration of wangs and cunts mashing together! It’s gonna be awesome!
While we’re there, we’ll be shooting all kinds of interviews with big-time pornographers – just LOOK at everyone who’s gonna be there! And if BUCKTON has his way, we’ll also be interviewing all kinds of former (and sometimes dead) porn stars! Oh boy, it’s gonna be something!
Anyone who’s seen Spock BUCKTON in action should not be surprised to find that most women refuse to be in the same room with him. So, while we were lucky enough to score an interview with porn superstar Kimmy Granger, we were forced, once again, to conduct the interview from a minimum of 300 miles away, via satellite from our Pittsburgh offices.
A full US State’s distance between interviewer and interviewee was actually one of the conditions listed in the agreement Kimmy asked us to sign. Sigh…we’ll take it.
It’s entirely possible that you’ve never deigned to imagine what goes on in the average workday of a man like Spock BUCKTON. Which is kinda sad, because you’re missing out on one of nature’s greatest miracles.
We’ve long considered the fact that a human (?) like BUCKTON is even living, let alone functioning and, heck, maybe even thriving in the current work climate to be nothing short of a miracle. The man doesn’t understand basic technology like light switches and somehow manages to pull down over 120k per year. It’s truly stunning.
Those of you who are “in the know” may recall the good old days when POPPORN used to produce weekly videos starring topless women. We’d review a recent pornographic film, have some laughs, eat some chicken fingers, blaze up some nugs, break some bones and then go home, spend week recovering and start it all over again. Well, happy days are here again, idiots!
Adult film superstarfucker Brett Rossi recently found herself feature dancing in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. And since we’re a mere 300 miles away from there, we thought this was about as good an opportunity as we’d get to sit the fan-favorite starlet down for five enthralling questions with our recently exhumed host, Spock BUCKTON. So we grabbed our gear, hopped in the car and…uh…decided that 300 miles was WAAAAAYYYYY too far to travel to shoot one fuckin’ interview.
So we asked some craigslist randos to accost Brett at a local Pittsburgh tavern and read our questions to her and then send the responses to us, via the internet. The results were PRETTY GOOFED!
But really, why are we wasting time writing about this when you could just be watching the video? Reading is STUPID!