FROM THE VAULT: SPOCK BUCKTON MATCHES WITS WITH ALLIE HAZE (KINDA)

Guys, it’s Thanksgiving. That means that a) we’re not at work today, b) we’re probably REALLY drunk by now. So what better time to take a trip down memory lane and re-post a video that we made years ago?!

We’re fairly certain this interview with porn legend Allie Haze was shot at an Exxxotica Expo. It was probably about 5 years ago. It was a simpler time when things were easier. On this day of great reflection, we’re thankful that we have videos like this to remind us of the good old days. Enjoy!

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VIDEO: GUYS, IT’S ANGELA FUCKING WHITE.

Guys, it’s Angela fucking White.

In POPPORN’s esteemed opinion, Angela is THE porn star that matters. There’s really no one making better smut or working harder in the adult industry today. It’s as simple as that. And while her movies with beloved studios like HardX, Jules Jordan Video and Wicked are all fantastic and well worth your time, you really owe it to yourself to spend some time with the entire catalog of movies from Angela’s own studio, because it really is about as good as it fucking gets.

Which is why we feel extra bad that she had to spend ten minutes of her life talking with idiots like us.

But since she DID take time out of her busy signing schedule to say hello…

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VIDEO: SAMANTHA RONE, LOST AT SEA WITH SPOCK BUCKTON

Hey DOOFUSES!

Remember when we said we were going to Exxxotica NJ to score all kindsa boss shit for you to drool over on our blog? Bet you thought we were lying, huh? Oh youse of little fuckin’ faith! If we were lying, how the fuck do you imagine we managed to score three fucking hours of facetime* with none other than Samantha fuckin’ Rone, huh?

Yeah, we’re feeling pretty good about ourselves, because we didn’t expect someone like Samantha to even TALK to us, let alone allow us to record the conversation so that there’s proof she talked to us. We kinda have a crush on her. Which isn’t too unusual, given the fact that she does amazing stuff like this for a living.

 

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VIDEO: LENA PAUL, STUCK IN NEW JERSEY WITH SPOCK BUCKTON!

Last Friday, while attending the Exxxotica NJ expo in lovely Edison New Jersey, the doofuses at POPPORN were fortunate enough to have been granted an audience with Ms. Lena Paul, who happens to be the favorite pornographic performer of at least half of the POPPORN staff (the other half are total dopes). Rather than try to explain what our sweet-ass interview covered, we’re just gonna let the interview speak for itself!

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WE’RE ON OUR WAY TO EXXXOTICA NJ! WATCH YOUR FUCKIN’ ASSES!

Hey everybody, guess what?! POPPORN is hitting the road and heading out to Exxxotica NJ, the East Coast’s biggest and best celebration of wangs and cunts mashing together! It’s gonna be awesome!

While we’re there, we’ll be shooting all kinds of interviews with big-time pornographers – just LOOK at everyone who’s gonna be there! And if BUCKTON has his way, we’ll also be interviewing all kinds of former (and sometimes dead) porn stars! Oh boy, it’s gonna be something!

 

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UNPRODUCED FUCK MOVIE SCENES # 1

I don’t know how many of you greazed-up, dickwackers and beave-polishers know this about me and the rest of the POPPORN crew – but there was once a time when we were big time fuckin’ porn screenwriters and directors. Hell, I was even nominated for BEST NON SEX PERFORMER like 4 times or some shit. Of course, I kept losing to either some dood who played Porno Bill Cosby or James BARF-A-LOT. But we all know how time has treated them…

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VIDEO: 5 QUESTIONS WITH KIMMY GRANGER

Anyone who’s seen Spock BUCKTON in action should not be surprised to find that most women refuse to be in the same room with him. So, while we were lucky enough to score an interview with porn superstar Kimmy Granger, we were forced, once again, to conduct the interview from a minimum of 300 miles away, via satellite from our Pittsburgh offices.

A full US State’s distance between interviewer and interviewee was actually one of the conditions listed in the agreement Kimmy asked us to sign. Sigh…we’ll take it.

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DOC JOHNSON ENTERS MUSIC BIZ BY LAUNCHING TOUR WITH SINGING SEX TOY VENDING MACHINE … WE THINK??

In an unprecedented move that is sure to send shockwaves throughout the music industry, sex toy juggernaut DOC JOHNSON is apparently launching some kind of traveling music tour involving a vending machine that shoots dildos or some shit at the crowd. Details are sparse at the moment, but we can only imagine that this will reinvent the music industry as we know it.

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VIDEO: SPOCK BUCKTON AT WORK

It’s entirely possible that you’ve never deigned to imagine what goes on in the average workday of a man like Spock BUCKTON. Which is kinda sad, because you’re missing out on one of nature’s greatest miracles.

We’ve long considered the fact that a human (?) like BUCKTON is even living, let alone functioning and, heck, maybe even thriving in the current work climate to be nothing short of a miracle. The man doesn’t understand basic technology like light switches and somehow manages to pull down over 120k per year. It’s truly stunning.

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DEMI LOVATO DOESN’T WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW IF SHE CHOWS BEAVE OR WANG

EDITOR’S NOTE: Spock BUCKTON isn’t the brightest amongst our writing staff. He was asked to write an article about pop singer DEMI LOVATO, but got her confused with legendary porn star and director DANA VESPOLI. Why? Dear god, we have no fucking clue. We stopped trying to figure out how is brain worked years ago.

We did, in fact, ask him to rewrite the article to be more factually appropriate, but he told us, and we quote “BUT I ALREADY WROTE IT.” Then he threw an unused condom at us and told us to “GET A.I.D.S”.

So, here it is… unedtited in all its factually baseless glory…

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