DOC JOHNSON ENTERS MUSIC BIZ BY LAUNCHING TOUR WITH SINGING SEX TOY VENDING MACHINE … WE THINK??

In an unprecedented move that is sure to send shockwaves throughout the music industry, sex toy juggernaut DOC JOHNSON is apparently launching some kind of traveling music tour involving a vending machine that shoots dildos or some shit at the crowd. Details are sparse at the moment, but we can only imagine that this will reinvent the music industry as we know it.

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DEMI LOVATO DOESN’T WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW IF SHE CHOWS BEAVE OR WANG

EDITOR’S NOTE: Spock BUCKTON isn’t the brightest amongst our writing staff. He was asked to write an article about pop singer DEMI LOVATO, but got her confused with legendary porn star and director DANA VESPOLI. Why? Dear god, we have no fucking clue. We stopped trying to figure out how is brain worked years ago.

We did, in fact, ask him to rewrite the article to be more factually appropriate, but he told us, and we quote “BUT I ALREADY WROTE IT.” Then he threw an unused condom at us and told us to “GET A.I.D.S”.

So, here it is… unedtited in all its factually baseless glory…

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Virtual Reality Porn

VIRTUAL REALITY PORN STUDIO ADMITS IT HAS NO IDEA WHAT IT’S DOING!

As evidenced by the photo that accompanies this article, CamasutraVR (a self funded startup that is seeking to create the next level of adult entertainment) reluctantly admitted today that it really didn’t have any idea what it was doing.

Internal CamasutraVR documents obtained by POPPORN show that after spending a couple days researching the technology, staff at CamasutraVR have only managed to attach hundreds of cameras to a hastily assembled structure made of PVC piping.

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