Abella Danger in Psychotic Behavior

WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON IN JOHN STAGLIANO’S NEW MOVIE?

Evil Angel recently released John Stagliano’s latest opus, Psychotic Behavior, and though we only made it through the first scene so far, it seems safe to say that this movie was definitely, absolutely funded by the Domino Sugar corporation (or an equally large player in the sugar industry). While a large portion of the opening scene does involve the raucous buttfucking that we would consider to be the hallmark of Mr. Stagliano’s work, he seems to have gone out of his way to include, like, twenty minutes or so of marshmallow and refined sugar based content.

An odd choice in the current pornographic climate, but Stagliano is nothing, if not a raconteur, as we all know.

Anyway, judge for yourself. It’s pretty much not possible that the refined sugar lobby wasn’t at least partially involved in this movie, right?

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WE CAN’T THINK ABOUT ANYTHING OTHER THAN THE TWIN PEAKS FINALE, SO THIS GIF OF HAIR REMOVAL WILL HAVE TO SATISFY OUR LEGION OF READERS UNTIL MONDAY

So, uh, how’s your Friday?
It’s not bad here at the POPPORN offices. But really, if we’re being honest, we’re doing our best not to think too hard about work today. Or to think about anything at all, really. We’re just saving our mental and physical energy for Sunday night, when television’s finest series of all time wraps up after the most rewarding 18 weeks of broadcast cinema we’ve ever encountered.

Yes, Twin Peaks: The Return, the absolutely phenomenal TV event of a lifetime, is coming to an end. We’re mourning it quite a bit, and debating the pros and cons of each method of suicide, one of which our entire staff will most certainly employ on Monday morning.

In a nutshell, please don’t expect much from us in the meantime. We’ve got bigger fish to fry. Just accept this WONDERFUL gif of a dude taking time out of his busy assfucking routine to remove a rogue hair as a small token of our commitment to you. Culled from the recently released (and impeccably titled) Private release Big Natural Tits.

GET THAT FUCKIN HAIR OFFA THAT ASSHOLE

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Anya Olsen & Carter Cruise in Lesbian Tutor 3

GIRLFRIENDS FILMS REACHES 100K TWITTER FOLLOWERS, MAN’S EYES BURST IN RESPONSE!

The world erupted in applause today when AVN reported that fan-favorite all-girl studio Girlfriends Films had reached one hundred thousand followers on twitter, making it the most socially successful all-girl porn studio in history. Fans from across all walks of life put aside their differences in order to band together in celebration of the award winning studio, with the good vibes summed up best by non-verified twitter user Sifiso:


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HEY, YOU LIKE EATING STUFF? SO DOES JOANNA ANGEL!

Hey chubs! You enjoy chowin’ down on food? Well, it turns out that you’re not alone!

With the assistance of some dood named N.A. Poe, POPPORN has recently learned that many porn stars occasionally eat food! In fact, Poe’s taken this whole “people eating food” thing and turned it into a whole web phenomenon, vis-a-vis his new video series entitled, ahem, Eat Me Out.

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This is a picture of a man threatening to extort you

ADULT STUDIO ALLEGEDLY EXTORTS PERSON STEALING FROM THEM! UM. HUH?

Yet again, humanity was reminded by none other than humanity itself that people are awful.

In Illinois, Gay adult studio Flava Works filed suit against one Marc Juris for $1.2 million dollars. They claim that Mr. Juvis (as a paying member of one of their porn membership sites) illegally downloaded Flava Works content and illegally shared that content via torrent sites for financial gain. Awful! But hold on a second…

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This is a picture of Tori Black

LOOK UPON THE GLORIOUS ALL-GIRL BEAVE-FIESTA CONTAINED WITHIN ‘TORI BLACK IS BACK!’

I tell ya what, thank God the porn industry is a shattered, sinking hull of broken dreams. Otherwise, I doubt we’d ever be able to grab an exclusive glimpse at what will surely be one of the largest fuck flicks of the year.

We mentioned a few back that the legendary Tori Black was returning to porn. Welp, go ahead and whip those boners into a frenzy folks because ‘TORI BLACK IS BACK!‘ comes out next week and we’ve got a scoop!

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This is a picture of two old crones

OLDER, NEARLY DEAD COUPLE REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO NEW “PORN” TITLE FROM ADAM & EVE!

An older, nearly dead couple told family and friends today that they are really looking forward to the new “porn” movie ‘Bad Babes, Inc.’ from Adam & Eve.

Ante and Blaga Horvat, who married shortly after the end of World War II, will celebrate their 70th wedding anniversary this year. When asked how they keep the heat in their stubbornly persistent relationship Ante, a decorated Russian war hero responded, “Mildly erotic adult films from Adam & Eve can, in some instances, provide enough stimulation to cause any, as-yet, non-congealed blood in my body to slowly ooze into my little kroshka.” Blaga quietly added, “I like milk and crackers.”

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This is a picture from the movie Threesome Fantasies Fulfilled

‘POSITIONAL QUARREL’ DURING THREESOME LEADS TO INJURY!

As scat-porn fans and a certain ethnic group will tell you, anything can happen in Germany. For example, who knew a threesome could lead to injury? Well, in Bad Breising that”anything” can and did happen.

The Mirror (a true bastion of independent reporting) posted an article the other day about a ‘threesome from hell’ that resulted in one woman falling ten-feet from a balcony and another tumbling down a flight of stairs. “Ms. Balcony” suffered broken bones in her feet and legs from the fall but was able to successfully orgasm mid-dip.

The second woman (“Ms. Bippin’ & Boppin”), concerned for her friends safety and successful orgasm hustled down a flight of steps only to slip and break bones in her arm and neck.

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