This is a picture of a man threatening to extort you

ADULT STUDIO ALLEGEDLY EXTORTS PERSON STEALING FROM THEM! UM. HUH?

Yet again, humanity was reminded by none other than humanity itself that people are awful.

In Illinois, Gay adult studio Flava Works filed suit against one Marc Juris for $1.2 million dollars. They claim that Mr. Juvis (as a paying member of one of their porn membership sites) illegally downloaded Flava Works content and illegally shared that content via torrent sites for financial gain. Awful! But hold on a second…

Read More
This is a picture of Tori Black

LOOK UPON THE GLORIOUS ALL-GIRL BEAVE-FIESTA CONTAINED WITHIN ‘TORI BLACK IS BACK!’

I tell ya what, thank God the porn industry is a shattered, sinking hull of broken dreams. Otherwise, I doubt we’d ever be able to grab an exclusive glimpse at what will surely be one of the largest fuck flicks of the year.

We mentioned a few back that the legendary Tori Black was returning to porn. Welp, go ahead and whip those boners into a frenzy folks because ‘TORI BLACK IS BACK!‘ comes out next week and we’ve got a scoop!

Read More
This is a picture of two old crones

OLDER, NEARLY DEAD COUPLE REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO NEW “PORN” TITLE FROM ADAM & EVE!

An older, nearly dead couple told family and friends today that they are really looking forward to the new “porn” movie ‘Bad Babes, Inc.’ from Adam & Eve.

Ante and Blaga Horvat, who married shortly after the end of World War II, will celebrate their 70th wedding anniversary this year. When asked how they keep the heat in their stubbornly persistent relationship Ante, a decorated Russian war hero responded, “Mildly erotic adult films from Adam & Eve can, in some instances, provide enough stimulation to cause any, as-yet, non-congealed blood in my body to slowly ooze into my little kroshka.” Blaga quietly added, “I like milk and crackers.”

Read More
This is a picture from the movie Threesome Fantasies Fulfilled

‘POSITIONAL QUARREL’ DURING THREESOME LEADS TO INJURY!

As scat-porn fans and a certain ethnic group will tell you, anything can happen in Germany. For example, who knew a threesome could lead to injury? Well, in Bad Breising that”anything” can and did happen.

The Mirror (a true bastion of independent reporting) posted an article the other day about a ‘threesome from hell’ that resulted in one woman falling ten-feet from a balcony and another tumbling down a flight of stairs. “Ms. Balcony” suffered broken bones in her feet and legs from the fall but was able to successfully orgasm mid-dip.

The second woman (“Ms. Bippin’ & Boppin”), concerned for her friends safety and successful orgasm hustled down a flight of steps only to slip and break bones in her arm and neck.

Read More

Y’ALL LIKE TITTIES, DON’T YOU?

We’re gonna go out on a limb and suggest that if you’re here reading our award-winning blog, you just possibly might enjoy looking at tits every now and then. With that in mind, it seemed like it might be a good idea to let you know about a new POPPORN EXCLUSIVE that we put together with the help of our good friend, legendary pornographer B.Skow!

We’re proud to present Big Boob Sex, a 2-disc examination of juggs getting fucked out BIG TIME! You’re gonna fuckin’ love it, doods!

Tons of photos from this big whammin’ celebration of titties after the jump!

Read More
This is a picture of the largest penis ever!

ENORMOUS PENIS SKEWS BELL CURVE PISSING OFF LEGIONS OF SELF-CONSCIOUS MEN…LIKE US!

As you might assume from the writing on this blog, we here at POPPORN are very short on confidence. As balding, tubby men who are uglier than Ernest Borgnine we’re essentially on the verge of suicide at all times. In fact, the only thing we have going for us (the one thing that keeps us from the brink of collapse) are our beautiful penises. Seriously, ask anyone. Our dicks are impressive.

Studies report that the average erect penis length is 5.5 inches. The average POPPORN staff member penis size is 5.8 inches in length making us 5% larger than the average. 5% larger than you, fuckers. We’re huge!

Or, at least we thought so until this asshole came along!

Read More

THE AUTOBLOW JUST GOT A LOT “BETTER”

Brian Sloan, creator of the crowdfunded suckjob automaton known as the Autoblow, is back for more. And it ain’t just suckjobs this time!

In an effort to further the dream of coitus without connections, Mr. Sloan has returned to the public sphere with a brand new sex monstrosity called the “3fap”. Like the autoblow, it’s basically a series of beads that gently (or, actually, pretty vigorously) massage your cock until you jit inside of it, and then have to clean it out (which is an extra thrill for jizz enthusiasts, because it REALLY gets in there)! What makes the 3fap different is the fact that rather than being adorned with only a weird looking pair of small-enough-that-they-seem-really-creepy lips, this one’s got THREE unique sex holes for you to pork your load into!

Read More