This is a picture of Greg Lansky, Amia Miley and Kendra Sunderland

TWO-TIME AVN DIRECTOR OF THE YEAR ONCE AGAIN CHOOSES QUALITY!

As our sweat shorts can attest, quality may not be our thing but that doesn’t mean we don’t recognize it when we see it.

In a quality profile piece published earlier today on AVN.com, two-time AVN Director of the Year Greg Lansky, a representative of quality, appeared in a subtle little Versace number that reminded us how stubbornly fluid heterosexuality can be.

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This is a picture of the largest penis ever!

ENORMOUS PENIS SKEWS BELL CURVE PISSING OFF LEGIONS OF SELF-CONSCIOUS MEN…LIKE US!

As you might assume from the writing on this blog, we here at POPPORN are very short on confidence. As balding, tubby men who are uglier than Ernest Borgnine we’re essentially on the verge of suicide at all times. In fact, the only thing we have going for us (the one thing that keeps us from the brink of collapse) are our beautiful penises. Seriously, ask anyone. Our dicks are impressive.

Studies report that the average erect penis length is 5.5 inches. The average POPPORN staff member penis size is 5.8 inches in length making us 5% larger than the average. 5% larger than you, fuckers. We’re huge!

Or, at least we thought so until this asshole came along!

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BIG BOOB BEAUTY LENA PAUL DOES IT IN THE ANAL, AND POPPORN APPROVES! (PHOTOS)

HEY GUYS!

If you follow the ever-fleeting careers of today’s top porn performers, you’ve no doubt taken notice of one Lena Paul. She’s starred in a handful of sweet-ass adult films (not the least of which is the petroleum-based tour de force “Tits & Oil 2” from New Sensations), and, well – we REALLY like watching her have sex with people. We’re major fans of this young lady, even though she posted a picture that WE TOTALLY TOOK OF HER on her instagram page without even tagging us. DAFUQ, LENA?

Anyway, you can imagine our excitement when we saw the cover of The Art of Anal Sex 5, a new DVD release helmed by none other than Greg Lansky, the lord of all media (and recently-crowned king of elegance). It features Lena Paul taking it up the anal for what we’re pretty sure is the first time, and it’s really fun to watch! Especially while whacking off and stuff!

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