This is a picture of two old crones

OLDER, NEARLY DEAD COUPLE REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO NEW “PORN” TITLE FROM ADAM & EVE!

An older, nearly dead couple told family and friends today that they are really looking forward to the new “porn” movie ‘Bad Babes, Inc.’ from Adam & Eve.

Ante and Blaga Horvat, who married shortly after the end of World War II, will celebrate their 70th wedding anniversary this year. When asked how they keep the heat in their stubbornly persistent relationship Ante, a decorated Russian war hero responded, “Mildly erotic adult films from Adam & Eve can, in some instances, provide enough stimulation to cause any, as-yet, non-congealed blood in my body to slowly ooze into my little kroshka.” Blaga quietly added, “I like milk and crackers.”

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This is a picture of Greg Lansky, Amia Miley and Kendra Sunderland

TWO-TIME AVN DIRECTOR OF THE YEAR ONCE AGAIN CHOOSES QUALITY!

As our sweat shorts can attest, quality may not be our thing but that doesn’t mean we don’t recognize it when we see it.

In a quality profile piece published earlier today on AVN.com, two-time AVN Director of the Year Greg Lansky, a representative of quality, appeared in a subtle little Versace number that reminded us how stubbornly fluid heterosexuality can be.

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TAKERS

NEW WICKED FEATURE TO SETTLE HEALTHCARE DEBATE ONCE AND FOR ALL!

GUYS, 2017’s AVN AWARD WINNER IS COMING!

Brad Armstrong, best known for his raging Canadian boner and socially-aware erotica, is back with a brand new, totally “woke” movie that’s aimed squarely at whoever chooses the AVN winners (which we’re pretty sure is this guy).

Set in the not-too-distant future, Takers tackles the political hot potato of healthcare, a topic we’d say is “wicked” relevant this week (get it? Wicked?), by imagining a world where rising costs have made black market surgical procedures the norm and patients are forced to do all kinds of crazy shit (mostly blowing dudes and stuff) to secure the care they need.
Asa Akira in TAKERS

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Virtual Reality Porn

VIRTUAL REALITY PORN STUDIO ADMITS IT HAS NO IDEA WHAT IT’S DOING!

As evidenced by the photo that accompanies this article, CamasutraVR (a self funded startup that is seeking to create the next level of adult entertainment) reluctantly admitted today that it really didn’t have any idea what it was doing.

Internal CamasutraVR documents obtained by POPPORN show that after spending a couple days researching the technology, staff at CamasutraVR have only managed to attach hundreds of cameras to a hastily assembled structure made of PVC piping.

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ALEXIS FAWX SIGNS EXCLUSIVE GIRL/GIRL CONTRACT WORTH ESTIMATED $3280.72!

It was announced yesterday that porn super star Alexis Fawx signed an exclusive, one-year girl/girl contract with Mile High Media. Under the agreement, Fawx will only perform girl/girl scenes (those are scenes which feature two girls (not women) having sex with each other) for Mile High’s imprint labels including Sweetheart Video, Girlsway and Lesbian X.

“I’m so thankful to Mile High and [vice president] Jon Blitt for this exciting and amazing opportunity to be under exclusive contract for all of my girl/girl scenes with Sweetheart Video, Girlsway and Lesbian X over the next year,” Fawx said which is kind of exactly what I said in the previous paragraph.

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WAIT A SECOND! POPPORN ISN’T A RESEARCHED AND FACTUAL SOURCE FOR EXCELLENT JOUNALISM IN THE ADULT ENTERTAINMENT FIELD? THE FUCK?

Welcome back.

No, no, stop that. We don’t mean you. We are welcoming ourselves back to the horror that is adult entertainment blogging.

You are welcome!

Now, to begin, we just want to reiterate that our blog is barely a blip on the radar of human existence and that writing a blog is barely evidence of having talents beyond those required to mash potatoes. However, if you’re going to get upset about something a blog writes on it’s grimy walls of disgust, at least have the common sense to review the source prior to getting your dick bent in half over what gets written on these pages.

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