VIDEOS, VIDEOS AND MORE FUCKIN’ VIDEOS!

Guys. We made a mistake, and, much like Al Franken, we’re not above admitting it.*

A good friend of POPPORN recently alerted us to the fact that our videos were not playing correctly on iOS devices. This is deeply embarrassing and, even more than that, it’s disheartening, because we want everyone to be able to bask in the glory that is POPPORN, and it makes us sad as fuck to find out that some those of you living in the 21st century weren’t able to do so!

But…and this is a big but…we’ve fixed the issue!

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I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE SHIT IS GOING ON IN PORN NO FUCKIN’ MORE NEITHER NO HOW

Hello, FUCKWATCHERS. Some of you may remember me, some of you may not. If you don’t – well, you can just eat a bag of cold, hard boners. If you do – you can also eat a bag of cold, hard boners as well but they’ll be the kind of cold, hard boners that you like and not the disgusting fucking ones that the people who don’t remember me will have to eat.

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POPPORN #478 COVER

OUR NEW CATALOG IS COMING SOON AND THE COVER IS SO BONKERS GOOD THAT WE’RE ALREADY CUMMING JUST BY LOOKING AT IT!

Did you know that in addition to be a Pulitzer-Prize Winning Blog, we also sell DVDs and sex toys and all kindsa great stuff like that?

It’s true! And not to tweeze our own big-time wangs, but we tend to offer better deals than pretty much anyone else in the world in the mega-sized, horribly pornographic catalogs we produce several time each year. It’s 56 pages long, full color and completely fucking packed with tons of hardcore, uncensored imagery. You can totally whack off to it, even before your DVD order arrives!


Why are we telling you all this? Well, frankly, it’s just because our art department just delivered the front cover for the upcoming catalog and it looks so bonkers good that we’re about ready to start blowing jit out of our eyeballs just by thinking of it.

Click through to see the full cover!

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WAIT A SECOND! POPPORN ISN’T A RESEARCHED AND FACTUAL SOURCE FOR EXCELLENT JOUNALISM IN THE ADULT ENTERTAINMENT FIELD? THE FUCK?

Welcome back.

No, no, stop that. We don’t mean you. We are welcoming ourselves back to the horror that is adult entertainment blogging.

You are welcome!

Now, to begin, we just want to reiterate that our blog is barely a blip on the radar of human existence and that writing a blog is barely evidence of having talents beyond those required to mash potatoes. However, if you’re going to get upset about something a blog writes on it’s grimy walls of disgust, at least have the common sense to review the source prior to getting your dick bent in half over what gets written on these pages.

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