VIDEO: SAVING (AND ENSLAVING) SOULS WITH JOJO KISS

Guys, we met Jojo Kiss! And she was awesome! We talked about a wide variety of things, including getting double-teamed by America’s last president and VP (POPPORN does not recognize the authority of the carnival-clown goon who sits in the office these days), and whether or not BUCKTON enjoys sucking dick.

It was a heck of a conversation, so stop wasting your fucking life and just go watch it already, jeez!

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FROM THE VAULT: SPOCK BUCKTON MATCHES WITS WITH ALLIE HAZE (KINDA)

Guys, it’s Thanksgiving. That means that a) we’re not at work today, b) we’re probably REALLY drunk by now. So what better time to take a trip down memory lane and re-post a video that we made years ago?!

We’re fairly certain this interview with porn legend Allie Haze was shot at an Exxxotica Expo. It was probably about 5 years ago. It was a simpler time when things were easier. On this day of great reflection, we’re thankful that we have videos like this to remind us of the good old days. Enjoy!

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VIDEOS, VIDEOS AND MORE FUCKIN’ VIDEOS!

Guys. We made a mistake, and, much like Al Franken, we’re not above admitting it.*

A good friend of POPPORN recently alerted us to the fact that our videos were not playing correctly on iOS devices. This is deeply embarrassing and, even more than that, it’s disheartening, because we want everyone to be able to bask in the glory that is POPPORN, and it makes us sad as fuck to find out that some those of you living in the 21st century weren’t able to do so!

But…and this is a big but…we’ve fixed the issue!

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POPPORN NOMINATED FOR AVN & XBIZ AWARDS! OTHERS POSSIBLY ALSO NOMINATED!

It’s possible that you haven’t been paying attention or the past week or so.

We say this because, at the time of this writing, we’ve yet to get a single bouquet of flowers, a single congratulatory fruit basket, a single no-strings-attached consensual handjob…it’s almost like no one out there even CARES that we’re once again basking in our nomination for the retail site of the year! It’s an honor that we’ve enjoyed many, many times. Sure, we’ve never actually WON, but we all know that you don’t have to actually WIN to be the best. Think about it – how many oscars has Robert DeNiro won? None, right? Yet he’s widely regarded as a legend.

So, y’know, the heck with it. We look forward to the awards presentation in January, knowing that whoever takes home the award totally wishes that they were us.

Also, from what we’ve been told, a whole bunch of other people have been nominated for awards, too!

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VIDEO: GUYS, IT’S ANGELA FUCKING WHITE.

Guys, it’s Angela fucking White.

In POPPORN’s esteemed opinion, Angela is THE porn star that matters. There’s really no one making better smut or working harder in the adult industry today. It’s as simple as that. And while her movies with beloved studios like HardX, Jules Jordan Video and Wicked are all fantastic and well worth your time, you really owe it to yourself to spend some time with the entire catalog of movies from Angela’s own studio, because it really is about as good as it fucking gets.

Which is why we feel extra bad that she had to spend ten minutes of her life talking with idiots like us.

But since she DID take time out of her busy signing schedule to say hello…

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UNPRODUCED FUCK MOVIE SCENES PART #2

Now, listen up you dumb fucks – are you ready for CHAPTER TWO in my ongoing series of UNPRODUCED FUCK MOVIE SCENES that the adult industry is too much of a fucking wuss to pump some big time bucks into in order to get produced just so you bumblenecked clowns can download it for free?

ANSWER – Yes, sir. I AM READY FOR THAT.

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VIDEO: SAMANTHA RONE, LOST AT SEA WITH SPOCK BUCKTON

Hey DOOFUSES!

Remember when we said we were going to Exxxotica NJ to score all kindsa boss shit for you to drool over on our blog? Bet you thought we were lying, huh? Oh youse of little fuckin’ faith! If we were lying, how the fuck do you imagine we managed to score three fucking hours of facetime* with none other than Samantha fuckin’ Rone, huh?

Yeah, we’re feeling pretty good about ourselves, because we didn’t expect someone like Samantha to even TALK to us, let alone allow us to record the conversation so that there’s proof she talked to us. We kinda have a crush on her. Which isn’t too unusual, given the fact that she does amazing stuff like this for a living.

 

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DO YOU LIKE MASTURBATING? SO DO THESE WOMEN!

Guys, it’s Monday and our heads are still hurting from last Friday (we had a staff outing where we drank a lot of grappa and watched The Killing of a Sacred Deer and then group masturbated), so we’re not gonna waste time or energy trying to write too many words today. Instead, how about a whole bunch of GIFs of gorgeous girls playing with their pussyholes?

Really, if you can’t dig on moving pictures of girls masturbating, you got fuckin’ ISSUES.

Lots more after the jump!

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THIS WEEKEND’S VOD PICKS!

Hey! The weekend is here once again, and while many would use that to see a really awesome looking new movie, go camping or maybe even work on a home improvement project, we know better than that. The weekend is, to anyone who knows a thing or two about enjoying life, a time to whack off as much as possible to as many things as possible!

With that in mind, our stellar VOD service happens to have a few suggestions for you! Read on to see POPPORN’s top5 VOD picks, but we’ll warn you…it might get a little bit disgusting!

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VIDEO: LENA PAUL, STUCK IN NEW JERSEY WITH SPOCK BUCKTON!

Last Friday, while attending the Exxxotica NJ expo in lovely Edison New Jersey, the doofuses at POPPORN were fortunate enough to have been granted an audience with Ms. Lena Paul, who happens to be the favorite pornographic performer of at least half of the POPPORN staff (the other half are total dopes). Rather than try to explain what our sweet-ass interview covered, we’re just gonna let the interview speak for itself!

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