It’s possible that you haven’t been paying attention or the past week or so.
We say this because, at the time of this writing, we’ve yet to get a single bouquet of flowers, a single congratulatory fruit basket, a single no-strings-attached consensual handjob…it’s almost like no one out there even CARES that we’re once again basking in our nomination for the retail site of the year! It’s an honor that we’ve enjoyed many, many times. Sure, we’ve never actually WON, but we all know that you don’t have to actually WIN to be the best. Think about it – how many oscars has Robert DeNiro won? None, right? Yet he’s widely regarded as a legend.
So, y’know, the heck with it. We look forward to the awards presentation in January, knowing that whoever takes home the award totally wishes that they were us.
Also, from what we’ve been told, a whole bunch of other people have been nominated for awards, too! We asked Spock BUCKTON to compile a list of the most noteworthy nominees from both AVN and XBIZ so that we could share with you, but he refused, saying things like “the whole system is rigged” and “AVN isn’t even a real website, snopes it” and “not until they recognize the Occupy movement” until we just gave up and told BUCKTON to take the week off. It’s just easier that way.
Or you can just actually WATCH pornography here, which we’d say is kinda the better option!
In closing, here’s a GIF of some dood drinking squirt of of Zoey Monroe’s cunthole. BRILLIANT!