UNPRODUCED FUCK MOVIE SCENES # 1

RETURN OF THE BORING MAN WITH A HORSE FRIEND WHO DEEP DICKS BALLS DEEP ON THE REG

I don’t know how many of you greazed-up, dickwackers and beave-polishers know this about me and the rest of the POPPORN crew – but there was once a time when we were big time fuckin’ porn screenwriters and directors. Hell, I was even nominated for BEST NON SEX PERFORMER like 4 times or some shit. Of course, I kept losing to either some dood who played Porno Bill Cosby or James BARF-A-LOT. But we all know how time has treated them…

Anyhoo – since barely any of you cheese-smelling pinkos pay for your porno anymore, we had to stop making movies because we are money grubbing maniacs and Zero Tolerance wouldn’t flip the bill for our big-budget screwfests anymore.

So, in lieu of production money I have decided to just start posting some of my unproduced porn scenes here on the blog. You fucks will have to use your imagination and if I’m feeling saucy, perhaps I’ll even include a few production illustrations to help you visualize the kind of fuck action I’m trying to throw down.

This first scene is from an unproduced movie called RETURN OF THE BORING MAN WITH A HORSE FRIEND WHO TOTALLY DEEP DICKS BALLS DEEP ON THE REG. I figure I’ll post one scene per week and then by the time the whole script is posted, the government will have decided to regulate porn piracy and everyone of you cheap-ass tricks will be paying for your porno again. Sounds about right, huh?

 

—————————————————————————————————————-

RETURN OF THE BORING MAN WITH A HORSE FRIEND

WHO TOTALLY DEEP DICKS BALLS DEEP ON THE REG

CAST

RICK BORING –  portrayed by TT BOY

HORSE FRIEND “DICKFACE” – portrayed by LAWRENCE TIERNY JR.

SALLY – portrayed by TORI BLACK

BARTENDER “RONDO” – portrayed by BIG CHIEF QUARTERBLACK

SCENE 1

INT. RONDO’S BAR

We open on a lonely woman, SALLY, sitting at RONDO’S BAR, smoking 3 cigars and 1 Virginia Slim while sipping on a Large Island Iced Tea. She is alone in the bar with the exception of RONDO THE MASTURBATING BARTENDER.

SALLY

Slow day at the bar, huh Rondo?

RONDO

All days go the same speed, Sally. HOLD ON A MINUTE, HERE COMES THAT HORSE AGAIN!

A BIG FUCKING HORSE walks through the wall despite the fact that the front door is wide open and more than big enough to fit a horse through.

HORSE FRIEND DICKFACE

WHAT THE FUCK’S UP YOU GODDAMN FUCKIN’ TWO LEGGERS?!!

Horse friend NEIGHS for about 5 minutes and starts knocking over everything in the bar and destroying every table. SALLY and RONDO just laugh as if this is an everyday occurrence.

Eventually, he prances up to the bar and coughs up a couple hundred dollar bills.

HORSE FRIEND DICKFACE

Use that to fix this fuckin’ dump the fuck up, Rondo. And gimme my barrel of goddamn GRAPPA!

RONDO

Coming right up, Dickface!

RONDO exits to go retrieve Dickface’s grappa.

DICKFACE’S cell phone rings. He looks at the phone in disgust.

HORSE FRIEND DICKFACE

WHO WANTS TO TALK TO THAT FUCKIN’ KNOB?

DICKFACE eats his cellphone and then sidles up to SALLY.

HORSE FRIEND DICKFACE

My friend Ricky wants to fuckin’ make some fuck with you, you’re goddamn right.

SALLY

That guy’s pretty boring but I guess I am gonna be the one fucking him in a few minutes as soon as he gets here, that is.

RICKY BORING enters through the front door, which immediately catches on fire for some reason.

RICKY

I AM THE ONE WHO IS HERE NOW.

RONDO enters from offscreen rolling DICKFACE’s barrel of grappa.

RONDO

Here’s your barrel of grappa, Dickface!

HORSE FRIEND DICKFACE

Chop me off some of that GRAPPA!

NEIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WHINNEYYYYYYY!

DICKFACE drinks the contents of the barrel of grappa, proceeds to EAT the entire barrel… stumbles around for a moment then passes out DIRECTLY ON TOP OF RONDO who DIES instantly.

RICKY

Rondo is the one who is dead now.

SALLY

Watching that made me want to get deep dicked balls deep by someone, but first…

SALLY peels her dress off. I guess she was wearing a dress.

SALLY

Why don’t you chow down on this goddamn beave, big fuckin’ time.

A LARGE BONER suddenly springs up in the crotchal region of RICKY’s pants.

RICKY

I guess I am gonna do that. But don’t expect me to be exciting or nothing.

AND THEY FUCK.

———————————————————————————————————-

 There ya have it, ya cum-plundering goons. Tune in next week for SCENE #2, you smelly dick.

I DO TWEETER

You may also like