DEMI LOVATO DOESN'T WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW IF SHE CHOWS BEAVE OR WANG

Which we think is kinda weird considering the LOADS of evidence that she is into BOTH.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Spock BUCKTON isn’t the brightest amongst our writing staff. He was asked to write an article about pop singer DEMI LOVATO, but got her confused with legendary porn star and director DANA VESPOLI. Why? Dear god, we have no fucking clue. We stopped trying to figure out how is brain worked years ago.

We did, in fact, ask him to rewrite the article to be more factually appropriate, but he told us, and we quote “BUT I ALREADY WROTE IT.” Then he threw an unused condom at us and told us to “GET A.I.D.S”.

So, here it is… unedtited in all its factually baseless glory…

Award-winning porn performer and director DEMI LOVATO has all of a sudden been causing big stir on Twitter over folks making a BFD about her sexual identity. A few years ago, shit like this wouldn’t have been no big whoop, but in Trump’s America – I guess we’re supposed to get all bent out of shape over what folks do in their bedrooms now. I get it, we are making America Grape Again.

All politics aside – the other night some dood on Tweeter was all like – “I love Demi Lovato, but her reason for refusing to talk about her sexuality is total BULLSHIT!” This was apparently in response to a Lovato quote from some thing that I don’t remember what is concerning her sexual preferences…

“I just feel like everyone’s always looking for a headline and they always want their magazine or TV show or whatever to be the one to break what my sexuality is,” she said. “I feel like it’s irrelevant to what my music is all about.”

“I stand up for the things that I believe in and the things that I’m passionate about, but I like to keep my personal life as private as possible when it comes to dating and sexuality and all that stuff just because it has nothing to do with my music.”

I’m a little confused as to why Demi keeps mentioning her music. I didn’t even know she DID MUSIC. But then again, there’s a lot of shit I don’t know about the hobbies of porn performers.

More than anything, I’m confused as to why this is EVEN A THING. We’ve known for years that Demi Lovato is totally into dudes AND chicks… and we’ve got TONS AND TONS AND TONS OF VIDEO TO PROVE IT.

Take the below photo – sure looks to me like Demi Lovato is 100% into wang, wang, wang! Sure this photo is from a few years ago, and I guess we do have a collective short attention as a culture – but that’s why we have the internet! TO REMEMBER STUFF!

While we’re at it, here’s a photo of Demi Lovato about to get her beave chowed down big time by Dana DeArmond and some other lady (WHO KNEW THEY KNEW EACH OTHER??), thus proving that she also into the ladies as welL

So, what should we take from the fact that Demi Lovato is all of a sudden making a big, honkin’ whoop about people giving her shit about her sexual identity?

Fuck’d if I know. I’m just glad I got to see a bunch of photos of zoobs and beave.

PAY FOR YOUR PORN YOU FAT FUCKING NERDS

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