Okay, I get that, being over the age of 19, we’re considered “very old people” in the porn industry. So it’s natural that we don’t understand all the latest trends and nomenclature and racial slurs used by “young people” these days. But even having said that, what the shit is this even tweet supposed to mean?

Our takeaways from this tweet:

1) Naughty America is a pornographic film studio. We know that much, because we sometimes watch their movies to coax jit out of our penises.

2) “Twitch stream” is unfamiliar to us. Best guess indicates that it’s some kind of piss seizure. But that might not be accurate, because unless things have changed drastically, Naughty America doesn’t make piss movies. Unless they do and we just haven’t noticed it yet. After all, we’re seeing studios do all kinds of stuff to try to stay relevant these days (it’s not working).

3) FPS is probably some sort of disability or condition that we’re not familiar with, and Naughty America has cast April in a somewhat socially insensitive role playing someone afflicted with it. A bold move, but not one we’d agree with! Making fun of people with disabilities isn’t cool, with the possible exception of IBS because shitting is funny!

4) A PC is an old computer. The kind that does that logo turtle game. We know that much. We’re not idiots here!

5) April O’Neil has really great looking boobs. We know that much from watching her porno movies, and making one with her that one time. 

6) The emoticon has rosy cheeks, which indicates that April might be cold? Not sure how that’s relevant, so here’s a GIF of April banging it out to distract you.

Aside from that, we can’t even BEGIN to decipher what April’s trying to say here. Maybe it’s a lightly veiled call for help? Perhaps someone should check on her to make sure she’s ok and not being held captive by whoever’s behind Naughty America’s porn empire? I’m guessing it’s someone named “Billy Naughty” or something like that?

Either that, or – and this is more likely – APRIL O’NEIL IS A CRAZY PERSON AND SHE NEEDS TREATMENT RIGHT AWAY.

You make the call, porn industry!





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