IF YOU LIKE WATCHING GIRLS PUT THEIR WHOLE HAND INSIDE OF OTHER GIRLS…HEYYYYYYYYY!

Do you hate hands?

If you do, then this sneak preview from GIRLFUCK 2, our upcoming exclusive release from Digital Sin, just might be of interest to you. Why? Well, basically because it’s got very few visible hands in it, as the aforementioned body parts spend most of their time deep inside another girl’s vagina!

It’s a little-known sex act called “fisting“, and it happens in several of the scenes in this already-legendary new movie!

Watch and see, stupid!

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DEMI LOVATO DOESN’T WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW IF SHE CHOWS BEAVE OR WANG

EDITOR’S NOTE: Spock BUCKTON isn’t the brightest amongst our writing staff. He was asked to write an article about pop singer DEMI LOVATO, but got her confused with legendary porn star and director DANA VESPOLI. Why? Dear god, we have no fucking clue. We stopped trying to figure out how is brain worked years ago.

We did, in fact, ask him to rewrite the article to be more factually appropriate, but he told us, and we quote “BUT I ALREADY WROTE IT.” Then he threw an unused condom at us and told us to “GET A.I.D.S”.

So, here it is… unedtited in all its factually baseless glory…

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REVIEW: MY FIRST BLACK COCK (Archangel Video)

Those of you who are “in the know” may recall the good old days when POPPORN used to produce weekly videos starring topless women. We’d review a recent pornographic film, have some laughs, eat some chicken fingers, blaze up some nugs, break some bones and then go home, spend  week recovering and start it all over again. Well, happy days are here again, idiots!

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BAEB’S FIRST RELEASE IS HERE AND IT’S SO HOT THAT YOUR COCK JUST DIED, SORRY!

Guys, holy fuck.

It’s difficult to even put a string of words together at the moment, because we were just sent a promo packet of photos from All Natural, the debut release from new studio Baeb.

Guys, these photos are kinda painfully hot. Like, hot enough that it’s hard to focus on anything else. Not our work, not our families, not the impending threat of nuclear war. Nothing.

Christ, just LOOK at this.

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SPOCK BUCKTON’S TALES OF FUCKED UP FUCKIN’ #1!

Everybody’s got fucked up stories about fuckin’. Here’s one of mine…

It’s 1997 and a young BUCKTON is only 20 years old and at, what we called in those days, A RAVE. I don’t know what the shit you bozos call ‘em nowadays, but it’s probably abbreviated or an emoji or some shit. Raves were things that you’d go to pretty much exclusively to do drugs, make out with strangers and dance to a bunch of boingy dance music that only sounded good if you were all boinged up on multiple drugs. I guess they were kind of like Burning Man, but people weren’t getting their fingers eaten by hippy trucks called BIG MOMMA.

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THINGS JUST GOT A WHOLE LOT SEXIER AT EAST COAST NEWS!

We do not know anything about the inner workings of the adult industry. Sure, we’ve been knee deep in the shit for a while now but it’s not like anyone is letting us in on any secrets. So, when we report on corporate press releases it’s usually a sign that either it’s a slow news day or something just got a whole lot sexier.

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This is a picture of Leah Gotti

IN MEMORIAM – LEAH GOTTI

Sic transit gloria mundi is a Latin phrase that means “Thus passes the glory of the world.” In other words, all things are fleeting. And these days, what’s more fleeting than a porn star career?

It’s probably unrealistic for any performer to expect a “career” in porn. If anything, working in front of the camera is just that, work. A job that ends pretty quickly. Most performers make an immediate splash in the industry only to evaporate like so many tears within a couple of months or, at most, years.

Case in point – Leah Gotti.

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WARNING: THIS POST IS NOT PORNOGRAPHIC, UNLESS CHICKEN FINGERS MAKE YOU CUM (LIKE THEY DO WITH US).

Guys, I got really hungry and found myself googling “stuffed crust chicken finger” in order to find out if Pizza Hut makes a pizza that uses chicken fingers instead of crust. It would go to stand that they do, because they’re always making all kinds of ridiculous monstrosity pizzas.

Sorry to say, Pizza Hut really screwed the fuckin’ pooch on this one. Because, as far as I can tell, THEY DON’T MAKE THIS KIND OF PIZZA.

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