Adult film superstarfucker Brett Rossi recently found herself feature dancing in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. And since we’re a mere 300 miles away from there, we thought this was about as good an opportunity as we’d get to sit the fan-favorite starlet down for five enthralling questions with our recently exhumed host, Spock BUCKTON. So we grabbed our gear, hopped in the car and…uh…decided that 300 miles was WAAAAAYYYYY too far to travel to shoot one fuckin’ interview.
So we asked some craigslist randos to accost Brett at a local Pittsburgh tavern and read our questions to her and then send the responses to us, via the internet. The results were PRETTY GOOFED!
But really, why are we wasting time writing about this when you could just be watching the video? Reading is STUPID!
The questions found within (in case you’re too STUPID to make sense of the really straightforward video we made):
1. The last good Batman documentary was filmed in Pittsburgh, where you are now. The villainous Bang (editor’s note: BUCKTON believes the character named “Bang”) ravished the city and installed his own cruel version of martial law there. Batman could not help because he was stuck in a cave or something with a sore back. So, my question to you is this – Did Bane destroy the ketchup factory and of the answer is NO, can you see if you could use your good looks and womanly swaggar to score me some SWEET KETCHUP DEALS? If not, that’s ok. Just get me a case of spoiled ketchup.
2. You recently became engaged. CONGRATS! What do you think your fiancé would do if you came home one day, sat him down, squeezed his face REAL HARD, whispered to him in a snake like voice “I KNOW ABOUT ALL THAT STUFF YOU DID”, swallowed your engagement ring in front of him and then whammed him the fuck in the head with a duct-taped-up wiffle ball bat until he passed out.
Then the next morning when he woke up asking what happened and you could tell him “YOU ATE MY ENGAGEMENT RING” and then he’d have to buy you a new one.
Think he’d be cool with that?
3. Do you like sexual intercourse?
4. I hear you have been experimenting with Virtual Reality Fuck Movies – what’s the deal with that?
5. Would you ever consider doing a dance routine to a Weird Al Yankovic song? If so, would it be one about food? If not, can I have the idea and will you pay me $200 bucks to dance for you to a song about lasagna?